Key Takeaway
You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe with everyone you spend time with. Don't settle for anything less.
How can you tell if a relationship is healthy or not? Here are some things to look out for. Green flag means healthy! Red flags means watch out. These apply to your relationships with other teens AND adults.
Kindness and Support:
You are kind to each other. You say and do nice things to make each other happy. In a healthy relationship, people lift each other up and cheer each other on. You’re there for each other through good times and bad, offering encouragement and help
Bullying
They can be mean, hurtful, or try to control you. They put down how you dress, your culture, where you come from, etc. They might act more friendly when you are alone together than when their friends are around. They play mean tricks on you. They make you feel small.
Listening
They care about what you have to say and listen when you talk
Gaslighting
They make you doubt your own feelings, perceptions, or sanity. They constantly tell you that you're too sensitive or that you're overreacting.
Respect
People in a healthy relationship respect each other's feelings and ideas. They don't say mean things or hurt your feelings on purpose. You respect each other's culture.
Controlling and jealousy
Always suspicious about your activities.Controls you with threats. Control how much time you spend with friends and family. Sulks when you don’t do what they want. Threatens suicide when you try to pull back from the relationship
Safety
You always feel safe and they don’t make you feel scared or worried.
Secrets
They ask you to keep secrets from people you trust. They ask you to keep the relationship a secret.
Being Yourself
You can be yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not.
Keeping you away from friends and family
They try to keep you away from your friends and family. You feel isolated. You might feel like the person is the only one who you can rely on.
Boundaries
Boundaries are like personal space bubbles that everyone has. You respect each other's boundaries and don't pressure each other to do things you're not comfortable with.
Pressure
You feel pressured to do things that you know are wrong or that you're not comfortable with. They show anger or use threats to get their way. They refuse to accept your limits about sexual activity.
Apologizing
You both say sorry when you make a mistake. You try to make things better.
Hurting or scaring
They hit, push, or hurt you. Or they verbally hurt your feelings. They take or destroy your possessions. They hurt or threaten to hurt you, your friends, family, or pet. You feel scared or unsafe around them.
Learn More
Kids Help Phone Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
If you’re worried about one of your parents or you think they might be in an abusive relationship, see Violence and Safety for strategies and advice.
Safety Note
Remember if you or someone else in your family is in immediate DANGER: Call 9-1-1 or your local police station if 911 is not available (if you can, go to another room or a neighbour's place to call).