Key Takeaway
It's totally normal for your parents to act a bit differently during a separation. But no matter what, they're still your parents, and they're trying to navigate through a tough situation, just like you are.
You might feel worried about your parents and this can cause you to feel more anxious or sad. This is very normal! Remember, you are only responsible for managing your own feelings. Parents may talk to you about what they are going through and that’s okay! At the same time, they should not use you for emotional support or venting, especially about your other parent. If this happens to you, ask your parent if there is someone else they can talk to.
Even if you are worried about adding to your parent’s burden, they are still your parents. They need to know what you are going through.
It’s a new situation for them too. They might not be at their best. Hopefully, they will be able to recognize when they make mistakes and apologize. They might not even realize they are doing something that hurts you, so don’t rule out talking directly to your parents. See Stuck in the Middle for more tips.
There are other places to find support when your parents aren’t able to give it to you. Reach out to other trusted people like teachers, family friends, relatives and coaches for help. Learn more about Connecting with Community and Who’s in Your Family?
You have rights. You have the right to give your thoughts on important things that matter to you, and your parents have a responsibility to take your views seriously. Learning about your rights can help you feel more in control. See Your Rights.
Dealing with your parents' separation can be tough, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being. Don't hesitate to reach out to someone you trust for help and guidance if you need it. You deserve support just as much as anyone else in this situation.
Sometimes you might not be able to see one of your parents as regularly as before or as much as you would like to. This can make you feel sad or angry or a whole other bunch of feelings. See Common Changes and How to Cope for tips on staying connected even when you are apart.
For more information on how to deal with your feelings, visit Feelings and Self-Care.
In some cases, you might not want to see one of your parents as much after separation.
Talk to a trusted adult about your feelings. It's okay to share your concerns and uncertainties, even if you're not sure why you feel this way.
Try to identify the specific reasons why you don't want to see your parent. Reflect on any past experiences, conflicts, or feelings that may be influencing your decision. Understanding your concerns can help you address them more effectively.
If you feel comfortable, communicate your feelings with your parents in a calm and respectful manner. Let them know that you're struggling with the idea of seeing them and explain any concerns or anxieties you have. They may be willing to listen and work with you to find a solution. It’s also important to listen to their perspective. Try to be open to solutions.
See Your Voice for more tips on communicating your perspective.
If you feel strongly about not following the ordered parenting schedule and believe it's not in your best interest, you can explore legal options. This could involve consulting with a lawyer or seeking a modification of the parenting plan through the court system. There are children rights and legal help organizations who may be able to provide you with free advice or representation.
See Getting Help for resources in your area.
Get Help
Try Kids Help Phone. Text CONNECT to 686868 or call 1-800-668-6868.
There are many reasons why parents decide to split up, but it is not your fault. Each couple is different, so there might be one main reason or a whole pile of reasons. Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take steps to separate. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask. Visit Why Changes are Happening for more information.
It's normal to feel a range of emotions when one of your parents starts dating someone new. It's important to communicate your feelings with your parent. Give yourself time to adjust to the changes. See Dealing with Changes for some tips.