Why Changes are Happening

Key Takeaway

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Parents split up because of problems in their relationship. You are not the reason why they are separating.

Common reasons parents breakup

Maybe one or both of them changed. It could be that they reached a point where they can't agree on things anymore.

In relationships, it's important to share similar beliefs and values. When big things happen, how your parents react can show if they're on the same page. If they're not, it might mean they're not right for each other.

If one of your parents starts liking someone else, they might decide they want to end their current relationship. It's hard to understand, but feelings can get really tangled up, and this can be tough for everyone. Just because they're starting a new romantic relationship with someone doesn't mean they don't love you anymore. They're still your parent, and they still love you.

Sometimes a relationship breaks down under the stress of problems like a severe illness in the family or a parent losing a job. If there are already problems in the relationship, hard times can be the last straw.

Being addicted to alcohol, drugs, or other things like gambling can create a lot of issues in a relationship and might make it break apart in the end.

Experiencing violence in a relationship, whether someone gets hurt physically or emotionally, is a big problem. It might mean one parent has to end the relationship to keep everyone safe and feeling okay, including you.

Callouts

Remember

If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.

I Have Questions…

It is completely natural to have questions about why things are changing and how it will affect you. Here are a few questions you might have:

Why are you both splitting up?
How much time will I be able to spend with each of you? Will we have set days?
Where am I going to live?
Will I have to change schools?
What happens on holidays or my birthday?
What other changes are going to happen?
How will you make sure I still get to see family members regularly?
Will I be getting a step-family?
What will happen to our pets?
Will I have to do more chores?
Callouts

Remember

Your parents might not have all the answers right away. Things often take a while to work out. Eventually, things will settle down.

Q&A

If there are things you need to know, ask. You have a right to ask questions about what is happening and why.

No, it's not your fault! Your parents' divorce is about their relationship issues, not about you being trans. They may be having difficulties because they have different views or values, not because of who you are. It's important to remember that your identity is valid and you deserve acceptance and love. If you're feeling confused or upset, it's okay to talk to someone you trust, like a friend, or counsellor.

It's okay to feel shocked and confused. Finding out your parent is gay and seeing your family change can be a lot to handle. But remember, their sexuality doesn't change who they are or their love for you. Let your parent know how you're feeling. It's okay to ask questions and talk about what's happening. 

Visit our Getting Help page or text CONNECT to 686868 to contact the Kids Help Phone.

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