Key Takeaway
While all feelings are okay, not all behaviours are. Support your kids to learn healthy and helpful ways to express their feelings. When they are behaving in challenging ways, be curious and investigate what could be done to help them be more successful.
During a divorce or separation, it can be common for kids to express their feelings in unhealthy ways or sometimes revert to earlier behaviors.
Children
- Becoming fixated on the separation and unable to think of anything else
- Struggling to sleep
- Having nightmares or starting to wet the bed
- Getting really mad at people for little things, having a low patience threshold
- Becoming worried or on edge much of the time
- Trying to be “perfect” or a people pleaser
- Being sad and unable to enjoy the things they used for a long time
Teens
In addition to some of the behaviours younger children might display, teens might also start:
- Skipping school or other disruptive behaviour
- Noticeable drop in school performance
- Partying
- Not following instructions - not coming home on time,
- Risky behaviours such as drinking or doing drugs, or risky sexual behaviours
- Hurting themselves or expression of suicidal thoughts
- Breaking the law
- Becoming more argumentative or disrespectful
- Disordered eating, use of social media or video games
- Any other major change to behaviour
Get Help
If your kid is struggling to cope with the separation, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with children and families. See Mental Health Support for resources.