Key Takeaway
When talking to kids about legal proceedings, use simple and neutral language. Make sure to explain things in a way that helps them feel safe and secure.
How kids and teens might react to legal proceedings
- Younger children may not understand why it is necessary to formalize a separation or divorce, or why “the law” needs to be involved
- The finality of the break-up may “hit home” for many children once legal matters start being discussed
- They might be confused or frightened at the idea of courts and judges making decisions about them
- They might feel powerless, caught in the middle of their parent’s battle, or like a bargaining chip rather than your loved child
- They might be angry at you or the other parent
- Preteens and teens, may be especially sensitive to the thought of their parents taking legal action against one another.
A word of caution
Be cautious about talking about your legal case. Recognize that the law is complicated and you might not fully understand everything that is going on. If you feel capable, explain the legal process you are going through in neutral terms, without giving opinions on who you think is going to “win” or who is wrong.
Here are some examples of how to explain court processes:
- "Sometimes parents need a little extra help to work it out and that's what courts and lawyers do."
- "The lawyers and the judge are helping us work through all the details of living apart."
- "Judges need to consider what's in your best interest - that's the biggest part of their job."
Remember
In the height of conflict, you might not be able to be objective, in which case find someone who can be neutral to explain the process.